I'll just begin a rigorist-training schedule. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. [faints]. You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Waldo: Sure you have. Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel - CNN Video [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. Let eserviate on the bright side. Was I about to take the Big Sleep? I tried to help you! 'Purple Urkel:' Actor Jaleel White launches cannabis brand - New York Post Here is the updated version of every line of Urkel's famous: "I've fallen and I can't get up" line from the show Family Matters.Here are the episodes in orde. Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. next semester, are ya? Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. And if you call me names, do I not eat? I feel stupid! We've got cheerleaders taller than him. It helps to determine how much help you need. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Judy Winslow: Boring. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Then we par-tay, see no problem. Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. [Grabs and kisses her. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Carl Otis Winslow: Don't get cute with me Harriet. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Becky Sue: Oh, we couldn't do that. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! You'll never know how much time you'll have together. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Just blacked out for a second there! [walks into the bathroom]. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? Steve who? Harriette: What for? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym. Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Topics Nerd. Eddo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Oh my God! When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! Gun, Carl. YOU'RE WHERE? Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. Aunt Oona: The gas pipe broke when my living room flooded. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh, Mr.Frostbite. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. To rob and murder? Steve Urkel: I bought two tickets to a concert that Laura wants to go to and offered to take her as my, get this, date! Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Whatever Happened To Steve Urkel From Family Matters? - MSN Edward, sure I got a moment. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! I can't! Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Your grandma is gonna fight for your right to party. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what are you waiting for? Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Steve Urkel: What? Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! Carl: Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. You have the right to remain silent. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? There's no justification for this behavior! Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends. Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Let's call it recycling. Steve, what happened? I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [shocked] And he brought hooters! And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? No phones. My parents play this with me all the time! I don't know what to say. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand. He held operations in Chicago. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? Carl: I am not. Steven Quincy Urkel: But I'm going the recommended cruising speed for this vehicle Any more could be risky. [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? Stop the music! Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Is that the problem? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. You're late for class. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Carl Otis Winslow: The guy who wrote The Three Musketeers? Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? From now on, no parties and no TV. Hey, wait a minute. He just told you to get lost. "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? I'm in college. [does Steve's laugh and snort]. I'm not your personal doormat. Steve Urkel: A little? Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. I'm starved. Well, that's gonna stop right now! Steve Urkel: Of course. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. I wanna read it to my mom. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! And I don't get many calls! 430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle Does that about cover it? Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Get down from there! We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Laura: Not when the bomb is in the basement with you! Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl and his father planned on doing a lot of things together, but they never got the chance. Harriette Winslow: Harsh? Why, how low can you get? Steve Urkel: I've fallen and I can't get up! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. You had two whole days to forget where it was. "You're like Pringles; once I pop you, I can't stop you." 6. I have feelings. Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. Bye! If you cut me, do I not cough? Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. I just spend two hours talking a guy off a ledge, then found out he was a window washer. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Where did you get the money for this? Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. Wha? Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Wha? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. No. [laughs]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Welcome to Leroy's! Oh, I see. They help move along our sentences. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? [kisses Laura] Love you. Steve Urkel: What? I'm being born! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Laura, please. That's all. [sees the kids] Oh my Lord! He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Family Matters Compilation - "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up - YouTube He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. And we practiced for six minutes! This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Think of the possibilities.". Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". No. Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! [leaves]. Laura: Doth thou love me? Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. This wire will be connected to this cord and this cord is not plugged in. I can see my dad! Isn't that sad? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Wow, are you wearing a bra? Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows! The bad news is, he'll charge you an arm and a leg. Make my day! Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. He's never used his! An illustration of a horizontal line over an up pointing arrow. I can teach you how to cook. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Uh, Curtis. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. And him. Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? I never got an 'A' before. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Laura: By being born first. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Maybe a better word is Loud. Pick a general observation about her personality. You trifled with my emotions! Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Get me a cherry slurpy! Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. When's the last time you slept? Ordinarily, I like a table right next to the water. Weasel: Yeah chill. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story?